Experiences with "Outside" Cultures

What do I mean when I say "outside" culture? 

Outside culture is something that a person has to learn through personal curiosity and empathy; the person in question must work for the knowledge and actively seek to remove bias through not only their thoughts but also their actions. It is something that makes humans different and should be celebrated.

For me, this really started when I was a young teen. Growing up, I had always considered myself just white. My family, especially my mother, have never attached themselves to any particular culture, only the generic color of our skin. The idea that because of the privileges that comes with light skin, we must try and reach out to others to understand and empathize with what we have not grown up learning and doing was a major part of my upbringing. That being said, my view into other cultures was really only consisted of a superficial look into the Mexican heritage of my godmother and her son and a brief awareness of Chinese culture through my mother's coworker Jing and her father. By the time I started developing lasting relations on my own with the people around me I was already in middle school. 

What I consider to be my first true look into an outside culture was when I met my best friend Suyung. I was twelve at the time and we met through a website for artists. I became a fan of hers and eventually after many casual comments on her works, we started talking. She is Korean and has lived in Seoul since we met. While Suyung herself has never held me to expectations since I am a foreigner, she never hesitates to explain traditions and culture barriers as they come up, even now. Her mother was actually the first person to make me aware of the importance of honorifics and deference to elders and those with more experience than you. 

Over the years, we have spent an alarming amount of time together collaborating, talking, and just generally being in eachother's presence. In high school, we spent almost eight to nine hours a day working on an animation piece for one of my classes, and when that was over we moved onto development for a videogame. She regularly sends me photos of her works in progress to get my opinions on what to change. Just recently, I reached out to her for help drawing out an idea for the upcoming Kansas City Japan Festival since I've had trouble drawing since my shoulder and wrist surgeries, and I cherish everything we've done together.

I truly believe that our friendship shaped my cultural empathy for the better and set me up to want to learn from other cultures and see into another person's world.

By the time I was in high school, I was making even more international friends that I am still close with from various countries, and so I had smaller bursts of information from them as it became relevant. England, Canada, Australia, Germany, Taiwan and France were just of a few of the places I needed to learn customs from, but I was more than happy to. 

In my senior year I became a home healthcare aide, and developed a deeper understanding of how toxic it can be (but also how rewarding it can be) when there are language barriers that accompany the cultural differences. One of the clients I was given was an older woman who was partially paralyzed and needed help in most daily activities. She was Chinese and while she could understand what was being said, it was very hard for her to speak in English. When I was asked if I would take over her case, I was warned that she would become angry and would yell at the aide while they were there. When I started meeting with her, I found out exactly why. 

After I had been seeing her daily for a little over a week with no incidents, I had the displeasure of seeing the other aide's interaction with her. She would attempt to talk to them and let them know what she was needing or what they were doing wrong when moving her, shopping, etc. and they would either not attempt to understand what she was trying to say or treat it as a burden. Since there was the language barrier, most communication was through action, and it pained me to see what happened when it wasn't treated seriously.

I spent over a year as her aide and took every shift I could in order to make sure she was taken care of, and the sheer gratitude she showed for the simplest of efforts on my part broke my heart and made me promise to do everything I could to understand the people around me the best I could.

During my first year of college, I was given the opportunity to take Japanese at Kansas City Art Institute, and despite not being able to keep up with the material when my health finally forced me to stop, the things I learned helped me take that extra step to show others I cared in my online interactions. One particular game I have taken to playing daily for relaxation is extremely cooperation based and meant to force players to interact and help each other. It also has a large Japanese player base, and there have been times where I have had to help or direct others with my meager Japanese. I have also continued to listen (and try to interpret based on my limited vocabulary and a Japanese dictionary) what the song or show I am watching is about. Though I haven't really kept up with learning the language or extensive practice, I do my best and let my curiosity lead me. It has also allowed me to bond with so many people that I never would have been able to meet without a simple introduction of "始めまして私ブリアンです!".

To this day, the friends I have made because of my attempts at communicating in their language try to find me every now and then to check in and see how I am doing. The language barrier doesn't stop us, and has actually led to some funny stories on how we try to communicate. As I mentioned before, just because something is different, it doesn't mean it is a bad thing. Yes, we need to be aware of language and cultural barriers, but in the end we a re all human, and it's a magical thing when we learn from each other and help each other grow as people.