Possible Selves 5- What Can I Be?

In the previous Possible Selves, I show the state of my goal with the visual aid of a tree under the burden of disaster. But what can I become under such stressors? Three main disasters were shown including, freezing up under stress, my own mind eating away at my ability to grow, and my physical body breaking under the strain of life. The first step was to acknowledge what they were and how they were affecting me, but what can I do now to help ease the load?

I don't think that at my current state, I could remove them entirely, and I am not sure if I will ever be able to, so I am not going to think too far in the future, but there are a few things I am actively doing to improve things.

1. I am seeking medical treatment: This applies mostly to my physical well-being, but it also applies to my mental health as well. I am currently undergoing physical therapy during the week, active medications for ever illness that can be treated through medications, and I am and have been fostering a close relationship with my orthopedic surgeon- who has been responsible for performing surgery and injections monthly for the past two years. I have also been speaking with someone regarding my mental stress for over a year.

2. I am trying to be less severe with myself: I have a tendency to be extremely demanding of myself and push myself past my limitations to keep up with expectations. For this, I am trying to allow myself my mess ups and think about life in a less black and white manner. I apply this to daily life, like chores, but I am also trying to lessen the anger and frustration of falling behind in schoolwork with the knowledge that I will always get the work done but sometimes need breaks.

3. I have chosen a 'betterment' class (Japanese) for mental health, and to practice the above belief: I might seem silly in this, but my class, this class, (Japanese 4) is purely for my want to improve myself and not to be taken seriously. This does not mean that I do not care about the class or that I don't put in effort, but instead it means that this is the one area that I am allowing myself to fail in without repercussions. I am taking it because I care so much about it, not because it is required to graduate. I chose to put this on my record with the explicit goal of just living in the moment and not for a grade. While this means that my time might not be prioritized for the class, it also means that when I start to fall behind it is easier for me to not completely break down and still be able to catch up without beating myself up.

With these actions in mind I can set some goals for the future:

Relationships:

    - I want to finish my care package/birthday present to my best friend.

    - I want to visit my grandparents in Texas.

Language User:

    - I want to practice my calligraphy for the KC Japanese Festival over Spring Break.

    - I want to be able to entirely understand my future patients on a routine visit to physical therapy.

Education:

    - I want to finish Japanese 4 with an A and prove to myself that I deserve to be here.

    - I want to be accepted into medical school.

Individual Strengths:

    - I want to learn how to make sourdough bread from scratch.

    - I want to become strong enough to be able to start painting again.