Possible Selves 4

Reflection: 

For this assignment, were tasked to look at ourselves and pick apart out dreams, strengths and weaknesses, and the obstacles that are keeping us from fulfilling our overall goals. For me, this was a very eye opening experience. While I originally was too stressed out to take in any gain, I now see watch I should have realized while I was completing the assignment.

Looking back at this photo, I realize just how much it relates to my current goals and view for my strengths and weaknesses. The fact that I was forced to submit a sketch (one that I find ugly and upsetting to look at) in the first place and not a finished, polished drawing speaks volumes to the struggles I outlined in the sketch, namely my own mind and body holding me back and my struggle with meeting my expectations.

There are three major "disasters" that I drew to represent my failings:

1. Icicles: I placed this setback where I did to represent my habit of freezing up when I don't meet my expectations; this can be used broadly for my life in general, though I thought it seemed correct to set it on my "Language Learner" branch to show my tendency to get cold feet when speaking to others.

2. Pests: The caterpillar represents my fears eating away at my conscious. I decided to put this specifically on the branch of "Individual Strengths" to not only show its ability to remove the work that I have done to build that strength, but also to show the duality of my fears and the thoughts in my head. I chose a caterpillar in this instance to show that while it might do damage, the thoughts and fears also have the potential to  feed into beauty and grow other things. While I can get frustrated with the seemingly endless setback, even the things I worry about can lead to goodness.

3. Broken branches: This is perhaps my more direct disaster that I feel befalls me. With my illness, my body literally breaks. The weight of my arms pulls them out of their sockets and rips my muscles and the more I try to build strength, the more it seems to hurt me. This has a hand in every aspect of my life, but it shows the most prevalent in my attempts at continuing my education. Try as I might, I have the constant looming sickness and pain that will always get in the way. That being said, I will always find a way to get around it, even if it takes time.