Possible Selves 7: Performing

 TO A FUTURE ME:

I hope that ten years from now, you have accomplished what I have not yet. I hope that you have completed or are in your years of fellowship and enjoy your life as a doctor. I wonder if we've chose orthopedics or rheumatology, or if something has completely changed us like what happened in 2017 and are doing something that I cannot even comprehend right now. Maybe you decided to go back to KCAI- I really miss KCAI... Maybe you decided to become a teacher? Or not, I really have no idea where you'll be.

Either way, I hope that in these ten years, we have gotten our health under control and we have figure out what works for us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I hope you aren't yet jaded by the world. I hope that you've fulfilled that promise you made to Suyung that we made an hour ago about visiting Japan together. I'm expecting you to look back at this experience and portfolio with fondness because in the end it made you who you are- for better or for worse.

I am currently writing this with a total of zero hours of sleep in almost three days, so I hope you've fixed that, but to be honest I really don't have many plans for you. I know you better than anyone and plans have always stressed you out so I'll simply do this:

1. Please get a bachelors. It doesn't matter which one.

2. See Grandma and Grandpa before they go. You know Grandpa worries.

3. IF YOU HAVE A PET (BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL) GIVE THEM A HUG FOR ME!

4. Get that goose tattoo on your ankle- or somewhere- because I know it means a lot to you.

5. Choose a career that makes you happy.

Yours Truly,

You.

Reflection:

This project to me has been pretty eye-opening, but also very hard. Looking at myself- especially right now when I'm so exhausted is a very stressful manner, because even after all of this, a full semester later, I am still struggling to not berate myself for not being perfect. I do think I have improved, and I have definitely started to understand the inner workings of my mind a little more, but that in itself had come with a lot of emotion- good and bad.

As for the projects themselves, I very much enjoyed Daruma and Maneki Neko for the more in-your-face symbolism, but I struggle with the tree, this post's Ikigai and the more text heavy aspects. Even though I no longer find it easy to draw, the writing and more deep analysis was what really did me in and made me have to stop and really think about things. I found myself unable to put things at face value, so those projects ended up becoming more and more overwhelming with time. That said, I do think I benefited from them, and even if it isn't in my nature to keep up with these things when not being pressured to do so, I am planning on trying if simply for the sake of self discovery and improvement.